Illegal Immigrants Poetry

My Sister sent me this as an e-mail today and I wanted to share it here because I thought it was funny.

I cross ocean, poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk,
Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need go see Welfare.
Welfare say, you come no more,
We send cash right to your door.
Welfare checks, they make me wealthy,
Medicaid keep me healthy!
By and by, got plenty money,
Thanks to you, Taxpayer dummy.
Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them 'come, fast as you can'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks.
They come here, we live together,
More Welfare checks, it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in
But neighbor's patience wearing thing.
Finally, white guy moves away,
I buy his house, and then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
In my yard, I put a tent.
Send for family - they just trash,
But they, too, draw welfare cash!
Everything is very good, Soon we own whole neighborhood.

We have hobby - it called breeding,
Walfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We go no bills!

Taxpayer crazy! He pay all years,
To keep welfare running here.

We think America darn good place!
Too darn good for white man race. If they no like us, they can scram
Got lots of room in Pakistan!

The Random Urine Test

I received this as an e-mail this morning and wanted to share it with you. I have seen it before but for whatever reason, it struck a nerve with me this morning (pms?, rain? who knows).

Like a lot of folks in this state I have a job. I work, they pay me.
I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass, spending the cash on drugs. Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?????

About a year ago, I was in the grocery store and I was behind a couple and their two kids in the checkout line. The little girl sitting in the cart looked like she was between 18 mos and 2 years old and was wearing a t-shirt and a diaper. The diaper looked like it hadn't been changed all day. The other little girl was about 4 and had snot spread from one ear to the other and didn't look like she'd had a bath in a week. They were using their Lone Star Card (food stamps) to purchase their groceries and they were short a couple of dollars. Let me give you a run down of the items being purchased: 2-12 packs of Coke, 3 bags of Lays potato chips, 1 pkg of twizlers, a cake mix and icing, and milk. Does anyone want to take a guess on which item was put back? Yeah, you guessed it, the milk. The cashier and I just looked in awe over this. First of all, I didn't even realize you could buy that kind of crap with food stamps and secondly, can you say "the munchies"?

I am all for helping those that need help but not for helping those that won't help themselves. I agree completely that anyone that receives any kind of public assistance should have to pass a drug test. This mean the mothers that receive WIC should have to pass one too. I know that in the case of WIC it is the child that suffers the most but if they can't pass a drug test then they shouldn't be allowed to keep their kids anyway.

Thursday 13 #1

Being that this is my first Thursday 13, well, my first post, period, I thought I would give you 13 trivial facts about me!
1. I have 3 kids. I left them at the kiddie pool so you won't be hearing me talk about them here. I gush about them at my other blog.
2. I am embarrassed to admit this, but I have a Beastie Boys song on my mp3 player. It is purely a nostalgia thing from high school. Whenever my Ag group would go to any contest, Chuck and Doug always supplied the music. There were always two givens. The Beastie Boys and The Eagles.
3. My husband used to have a bad habit of staying up really late and buying things off of infomercials. Once he bought this stuff called Bleaussant (I don't know if that is the correct spelling) which was a "natural breast enhancement product". I found this comical for two reasons. 1) Who buys that crap? and 2) I was already a size 34DD. Anyway, I sent it back and we got a refund (no I didn't take any of them). About 6 months later we started receiving checks from the Federal Trade Commission for a settlement from this product. I think we ended up getting 4 or 5 checks from them!
4. I would love to travel but I do not like to fly. The last time I flew, I was a nervous wreck even after $30 worth of beer!
5. I am completely addicted to Mexican food. After we moved out of Austin, I was looking for a good Mexican food restaurant and my aunt told me about this one place "that has the BEST Mexican food you could ever eat". So, we went to check it out. I was so excited about going only to be completely disappointed by the worst food I had ever eaten. Seriously, I took 2 bites of it and we left. We didn't take my aunts advice for restaurants again until 10 years later. True to form, "the best catfish ever" was mediocre at best.
6. One of my aunts dated Stevie Ray Vaughn and she was obsessed with his music. When she passed away, my sister and I decided that we would spread her ashes around his statue at Town Lake in Austin. Well, we didn't get up as early as we had hoped and made it down there about 10:30 on a Sunday morning. Well, if you have been to Town Lake at 10:30 on a Sunday morning in June, you know that if you aren't careful you are likely to be plowed down by a runner or someone pushing one of those three wheeled strollers. We tried to fit in as best as two definite non-runners carrying a Styrofoam cup of human ashes can. After wondering around for a while trying to find a discreet place to complete our mission, we finally found a place to spread them and not be seen. Right under the bridge. Where many a homeless person has laid down for the night.
7. I have only been under general anesthesia one time and that was just a little over a month ago. I woke up asking the anesthesiologist how he wanted is eggs. I can't imagine what I must have been dreaming if I was going to make him breakfast. He was cute, though!
8. I used to ride and show horses a lot. As a matter of fact, I was a riding instructor for The University of Texas informal classes for a couple of years. I don't get to ride very often anymore because the Blogaritaville kiddie pool is only open while blogging.
9. I have way too many animals living in my house. As a matter of fact, there are more animals than people. Note to self: Learn to say "No" to the kids.
10. When I was kid, my parents used to "work" at the Austin Aqua Festival (this was way before the ACL Music Festival or even SXSW) every year. I put work in quotation marks because really all they did was fill the beer coolers and sit backstage with the musicians. I spent many an hour down there with them. I think this is where I got my love for live music.
11. Hate me if you will, but I don't care for sweets. Even at the holidays, I can pass by the desert table and not even bat an eye. Every once in a while (like every two or three months) I get a hankering for something sweet but the void can be filled by either just baking something or eating one cookie.
12. I really like gardening but only when it is not blazing hot. Being that I live in Texas, this means that I garden in March and April and then let everything die until October; just in time for it to be too cold.
13. I am extremely prone to road rage. Once, while still living in Austin, I chased someone down to flip him the bird. I guess the fact that I was in a company car completely slipped my mind. Later that afternoon, I got called into my bosses office because the guy I flipped off called him. Luckily, he just laughed and told me not to do it again because next time the other guy might just have a gun.

Fascinating, I know. You can wake up now.

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